Teetotal Vegetarianism - Day 12 May 16th 2009

''I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer’’ - Homer Simpson

When I was a kid I wondered why people drank alcohol; killing their brain cells and looking a fool. Then I got drunk myself and have never looked back, until now. As I’ve looked a lot already at vegetarianism it’s about time I started to think about drink; the other half of the bet. I spend a lot of time under the influence of the nectar of the Gods and despite waking up many a morning thinking ‘never again’ I enjoy it. Like any drug it is a release from normality. As the English poet Samuel Johnson said ‘He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man’. And while it is no less dangerous than many drugs that can send you to prison for possessing or distributing them it is an accepted part of modern society. What of the people who choose not to party till the puke? They are called Teetotallers and practise Teetotalism. The Miriam-Webster dictionary defines this as;

noun: the principle or practice of complete abstinence from alcoholic drinks.

For more information we can turn once again to Wikipedia; the fountain of possibly compromised knowledge. ‘Some common reasons for choosing teetotalism are religious, health, family, philosophical and/or social reasons, and, sometimes, as simply a matter of taste preference. When at drinking establishments, they either abstain from drinking or consume non-alcoholic beverages such as tea, coffee, water, juice, and soft drinks.

Contemporary and colloquial usage has somewhat expanded teetotalism to include strict abstinence from most "recreational" intoxicants (legal and illegal, see controlled substances). Most teetotaller organizations also demand from their members that they do not promote or produce non-alcoholic intoxicants.’

I guess they should add ‘Gentleman’s Wager’ to the list of reasons!

One thing that is always welcome on a Saturday morning following a drinking session the night before is a fry-up. Greasy bacon, greasy sausage, fried eggs, fried bread. All these things mean that the UK has a lot of people with heart problems later in life but fewer hangovers in the here and now. Now a fry-up is usually better from a medicinal point when the drink is alcohol but in the name of science I am trying to go about my usually routine so whilst the fry-up was not needed to cure a headache it would usually be eaten for this purpose.

As I couldn’t find any vegetarian sausages I had to resort to the last remaining pitiful Quorn burgers to add some bulk to the plate. Then something magical occurred. Shallow-fried and served with eggs, beans, toast and chopped tomatoes the once frowned upon mycoprotein patties must have looked at their pitiful last attempt and decided ‘We will not go quietly into the bin’ and brought the thunder. Maybe two weeks in I am just becoming more accepting but this was a fry-up I would certainly do again.

Vegetarian Dish of the Day:

Quorn Mince

Box Blurb: Deliciously versatile Quorn mince, perfect for bolognese, chilli, cottage pie and all your favourite recipes.

Many people who I have talked to about the bet have said that Quorn Mince is very tasty and even thought they are not vegetarians they use it over minced beef. Things were looking good for Quorn then. After the top form of the burgers for breakfast could the mince do enough to give them a 1-2 finish on the podium?

At first I was hesitant. It was mince Jim, but not as I knew it. But as I got going I lost my initial trepidation. If I hadn't know better there is a high probablity I wouldn't have been able to tell this was Quorn. In terms of texture it is spot on, as prophesised, without the gristle. So there are no random and distasteful instances of nasty bits getting caught up in your teeth. Cooking couldn’t be simpler. Add the frozen mince to a pan, add sauce and cook. No cooking the mince for a bit first as usual with a meat. I went for a chilli con carne and it was spot-on. This costs about the same as your mid-level mince but is tenderer and a mind easily tricked can imagine it is getting a higher quality meat meal. It’s a replacement product that uses stealth and does a successful job whilst not bringing attention to itself with OTT flavouring. Another win for Soylent Quorn then! The futures bright! The futures green!