Teetotal Vegetarianism - Day 3 May 7th 2009

Options for the non-meat eater at the Shoprite ready food counter are almost non-existent. 12 types of chicken but the only thing on the menu I could eat was a cheese and onion pasty. It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife. (It would appear that vegetarianism brings one closer to Alanis Morissette. After only 2 days without meat I had a dream in which a cat took me on a tour of London before selling me tickets to an Alanis gig…can anyone say Hayao Miyazaki’s next film?)

Back to film mogul J. Arthur Rank’s role in the production of Quorn. Under the banner of Rank Hovis McDougall, formed from Rank’s acquisition of Hovis McDougall (see what they did there?), Joseph pushed research into creating protein from starch. In 1984 RHM formed a joint venture with ICI known as Marlow Foods; Marlow Foods created Quorn. ICI?!?!?! What business does the ‘British chemical subsidiary of a Dutch conglomerate and one of the largest chemical producers in the world’ have in producing a meat alternative? Probably the same business the Soylent Corporation had…

One of ICI’s largest plants is based in Teesside and was a massive influence for Ridley Scott when creating the industrial dystopia of Blade Runner. As we all know Blade Runner is a science fiction film that deals with many issues seen in Soylent Green. Coincidence…I don’t think so!

Vegetarian Dish of the Day:

Linda McCartney Vegetarian Sausages: Food to come home to

Box Blurb: Vegetarian Sausages made from a blend of seasoned cereal and vegetable protein.

‘Vegetarian Sausage’ surely sits just behind ‘Fat Babe’ as the world's biggest oxymoron. A dictionary definition of sausage reads;

‘noun - minced pork, beef, or other meats, often combined, together with various added ingredients and seasonings, usually stuffed into a prepared intestine or other casing and often made in links’

Meat not vegetables! Calling them vegetarian sausages is like me getting a steak, shaping it like a rabbit’s favourite food and offering it for consumption as a ‘Meat Carrot’. But name aside what are they like? Actually very tasty! Whilst not comparable to a top of the line meat sausage these vegetable ‘sticks’ are in fact nicer than some of the more shady cheap sausages that haunt the concerning carnivore’s world (those are mostly bread and arseholes). The crunchy outer casing adds substance whilst maintaining the structural integrity allowing the ‘sausage’ to avoid the soggy pitfalls of other vegetarian products without having to overcook them and impair the flavour. Alongside other staples of the breakfast plate (in this case fried eggs, baked beans and chopped tomatoes) it was barely noticeable that the cigar shaped items were not full of meaty goodness.

Joining Linda on the plate was another celebrity. So let’s have a double bill of Vegetarian Dish of the Day.

Dettori’s (Italian for Good Food) Chopped Tomatoes in Rich Tomato Juice

Box Blurb: With Dettori’s Chopped Tomatoes you can create all your favourite dishes, knowing that you are using the finest Italian ingredients.

The Dettori in question is jockey Frankie Dettori in case you didn’t get that. Whilst I’m sure most people know that Netto is Scandinavian for value I bet you didn’t know Dettori’s is Italian for Good Food did you? (I always thought it was buon alimento)

Not much to say about these really. Tasty tomatoes indeed but lets be honest; even Netto own brand tinned tomatoes go down well. I just liked the name and thought it needed sharing.

And with that vegetarian food gets it first win. I genuienly enjoyed the meal I ate. However don’t worry! I haven’t even come close to being turned to the dark side. Come the 5^th June I still plan to be hitting the meat like Rocky in an abattoir!